The Sanctum

Welcome, traveller. This be the realm of Jay Niner, where everything be possible, and nothing ever happens. If, perchance, thou wisheth to tarry, then find thou a page from the Grimoire and read. For we are here in eternity, and we are in medias res.

4.12.09

Innocence

A commodity called innocence is all too rare these days, and scoffed at like the dickens. It's a true pity. We've all forgotten what it was like, when all we had was an overwhelming curiousity toward the world. We gave it up when we decided to "grow up". We sampled pleasures and troubles, got into scrapes, and generally fucked the hell out of life, and we're not even 30. It's a pity.
I dug this up from its notepad version. After some reformatting, I saw the date on the damn thing; 2000. When I was in the fifth class. My mom had helped me to type it out. I found it hidden among old files on the HDD, and after reading it, I fell into the blackest depression I'd ever known. The greatest fall hardest; it's truth.
I thought I'd come across a lot of examples of life's depressions. But this was worse. I felt like my fifth-class self had dug himself out of whatever grave I'd buried him in, like Jason Vorhees, and come back, not to murder, but to laugh and scorn.
This was what I found.

Things I want to do
1 Drive a roadroller
2 Go to Kerala
3 Visit a circus
4 Drive a truck
5 Become a pilot
6 Catch fish
7 Have my own dog
8 Have a cat
9 Go to Wadali
10 Drive a tractor
11 Drive a bulldozer
12 See a tank
13 Get sick so I can stay home
14 Play longer
15 Write a book
16 Go to a library
17 Walk to school
18 Get a telescope
19 Get a binoculars
20 Get a gold ring
21 Get an ink pen
22 Read books all day
22 Have my own library
23 Go to Nagpur
24 Go to a circus
25 Meet a joker
26 Go to a church
27 Go to a mosque
28 Go to China
29 Go to a party with everyone in my family
30 Get a bigger bed
31 Get a sword
32 Ride a horse
33 Walk to Chikhaldara
34 Catch a train on my own
35 Go to New Zealand
36 Go to Italy and the Church
38 Go to Sicily
39 Go to Easter Island
40 Change my table
41 Get an architect set
42 Get a paintboard
43 Get a paintbrush
44 Paint
45 Paint a wall
46 Walk on my hands
47 Go to the moon

Like I said, innocence. Look back, people. Look back and remember. And when you remember, wonder; would your past self laugh their asses off?

2 comments:

  1. the last one, go to a moon, I don't really know how would we do this, we aren't even touching the skies yet man. This list was very emotional, i too remember having a list when i was in class 11th ,2001, now i dont even remember what i wrote. Fuck, I hate being a grown up.Lucky, you had a computer then.

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  2. "be young, it's fun". we all just realized it a few years too late.

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