The Sanctum

Welcome, traveller. This be the realm of Jay Niner, where everything be possible, and nothing ever happens. If, perchance, thou wisheth to tarry, then find thou a page from the Grimoire and read. For we are here in eternity, and we are in medias res.


Laawaris- Mere angne mein

One of the few songs I can't remember without taking in a terrific film, a ton of laughs and brilliant dialogues... and one of my favourites. Arre Mere angne mein.. you can imagine that such a song is incredibly open to interpretation, and throughout a fucked-up trip to Kerela (rewards notwithstanding) I kept dreaming up parodies to these songs, one of which was "Tere Bhosade Mein...." I'm sure you can understand the inspiration. This was one of the few ideas for a blog that I could dream up in those listless days. A few hits of coke puts you in the mood to fuck like crazy. And therefore my mornings were spent at the wedding and evenings elsewhere, haha... a wedding's a wedding and there's always the bridesmaids.
Onward, though...

Mere Angne Mein
(Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai)
Joh Hai Naam Wala..
Arre Joh Hai Naam Wala Wahi Toh Badnaam Hai
Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai

Jiski Biwi Lambi Usska Bhi Bara Naam Hai
Kothe Se Lagado
Arre (kothe Se Lagado Seerhi Ka Kya Kam Hai)
Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai

Jiski Biwi Moti Usska Bhi Bara Naam Hai
Jiski Biwi Moti, O Moti, O Moti, O Moti Moti Moti
Jiski Biwi Moti Uska Bhi Bara Naam Hai
Bistar Pe Litado
(Bistar Pe Litado Gaade Ka Kya Kam Hai)
Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai

(Jiski Biwi Kali Usska Bhi Bara Naam Hai)
Aankhon Mein Basalo
(Aankhon Mein Basalo Surme Ka Kya Kam Hai)
Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai

(Jiski Biwi Gori Uska Bhi Bara Naam Hai)
Kamre Mein Bithalo
(Kamre Mein Bithalo Bijli Ka Kya Kam Hai)
Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai

(Jiski Biwi Choti Usska Bhi Bara Naam Hai)
God Mein Bithalo, Haan Haan Haan
(God Mein Bithalo Bache Ka Kya Kam Hai)
Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai

(Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai)
Joh Hai Naam Wala
Arre Joh Hai Naam Wala Wahi Toh Badnaam Hai
Mere Angne Mein, Haan Mere Angne Mein
Haan Mere Angne Mein Tumhara Kya Kam Hai



Here I am, supremely pissed because for some insane reason none of the blogs open. Not even mine, and all those cool games I wanted to download from several gaming blogs now await my perusal from some cyber cafe. Thankfully torrent is back to work, and I'm busy downloading thirty-seven kinds of shit from various torrent websites which all keep flickering back and forth to life any time of the day. At least the speed is usually good.
On top of that I'm also in an air-conditioned environment, jacking off to hot porn in the cyber cafe we all know. Tick one more item off my bucket list- Masturbate at college.
Yahoo, but that felt good. 
Y'all with internships, I don't envy you. You have a busy summer, but I'm simply going to sit this one out- fuck the internship, maa chudaye those motherfuckers. What good is a summer you can't enjoy? Although this isn't my idea of an enjoyable experience, with the firewall in place and AS going around with his squint which says, I'm going to catch you one day, Nair, and you're going to regret it, hahahaha and the evil laugh.
No, sir, this guy's going to have to attend a summer wedding. Not my own, thankfully, but one of the cousins'. And if you think your hometown is worse, think of an autowalla who'll curse in pure malayalam, and this is something I heard from one of them-
"You monkey-tailed brainless bastard with your illegitimate son from the dried-up rotting womb of your three-cocked whore of a wife and your hand busy in your crappy asshole and a fake license, look where you're going!" 
There are just too many adjectives in my native tongue, and all that "Bhenchod" or "Madarchod" or "Betichod" "Maa ki chut" "behen ka lauda" "Laude" "Chutiye" "Harami bhosadiwalle" "Gatargandu" (That's from amravati) "Chamanchutiye" (ditto) are way, way too crude for these people whose favourite pastime in past ages was stringing up alliterations in poems that could go on for hours. And now, they devote their energies to making up such intricate, wonderfully-pronounced cusses that don't even seem foul until you understand the language.
And these are just the autowallas. I already know Kerala's real street culture. It's mostly the fisherman blood, and even the youngest thugs have that tongue... you know when they say some languages are made for stuff? French for the romantics, Irish for the thugs, japanese for business, english for casual talk, and so on?
Well, Malayalam is one of the few languages that has been butchered in a different way. A language full of endless alliterations that can be strung up in so many different ways.
You've got to love a language like that; any autowalla, any thug, any pissed-off malayali has at his command a bevy of words and elaborate ways to string that up in.
I'm in a lot of trouble, though. I'll be meeting a certain guy who used to provide me with certain... products. Read Contraband. And it was uncut contraband, as well... not exactly columbian, but pure nonetheless. But on my family's behalf I've still gotta go...
"Though shall not fall into temptation, for in temptation lies damnation." A priest once told me that. Out of the church, one of my friends, an avid smoker, took out a joint and smoked it, then provided an addendum. "In damnation lies pleasure."


What may I write,
that you may read, and bite
the bullet that goes with the flow.
Well, let me start with a flourish and a bow.
And for your sake go slow.

My exams have ended for good or ill;
No doubt I might face some still.
They were mindfucking, but they're done yet.
But mayhap next sem I'll once more get-
these backlogs once more, you wanna bet?

Ah, life. What a bitch.
I so hopelessly wish I were rich.
Maybe then it might not have been so bad..
but me being me, things would have gotten sad.
I'm no more than scrawny lil lad.

But a fucked-up loser, who games 24/7
And treats virtual death like 7/11
But life's no game, hell no
And if you your one chance blow-
Go reap what you sow.

I don't exactly know where that came from, but god willing I had nothing to do with it forming in my head since I brushed off the last vestiges of sleep from my eyes. My body was, of course, still asleep. It's more sensible than my brain in a curious contradiction. I had to give the backlogs; there was really no choice. And I should have studied, but miserable motherfucker that I am, I actually went and bought a couple of games from Landmark on saturday, then spent two whole days playing games, and not even bothering to learn shit. Even yesterday I didn't study. I haven't, not for a single exam. Why? You may ask. Even I ask that fucked question every five minutes during my exams when random shit flows from my pen onto paper.
Let me tell you a story. Seven years back a little boy was giving his seventh-class unit tests. Unlike his comrades he hadn't bothered to study for the exam, and his parents had been out for a week, promising they'd be back in time for the exams.
So what did he do? At night he crept down while his sister slept and watched porn.
A cardinal sin but at 1 o'clock happy hour began and it ended at six in the morning. The boy had nearly destroyed the chair in his efforts.
As he came, so did the exams and his parents. Without a care in the world the boy kept thinking of "slut getting banged hard by fat cocks" and "MILF taking it in the ass" and so on, and gave his papers in a dream.
Wonder of wonders he got 74% in the results.
And so he thought; if I don't study, this is what I get. Then why bother?
He never studied again, got caught for watching porn by his tenth, nearly got caught fucking his second girlfriend in the holidays before the eleventh and once more escaped by the skin of his teeth- chewing happydent after smokes, showing up at tuitions high, coke on his pants, skipping class and practical to visit brothels, a total hippie. And his grades never dipped below 65%.
And so he continues on that tradition. But he's jaded now, so he sticks to games, books, and he's poorer now for all the aiyyashi that he partook in during the wonder years.

Hahahahaaha. I'm sure y'all got no trouble guessing who that was. In fact he still doesn't study. In SIMC there seems to be no need for it, either.
Fuck this shit; it feels like the summer vacation's begun already. I didn't study even for my tenth and twelfth; never have, and it's an extremely safe bet to think that I never will.