The Sanctum

Welcome, traveller. This be the realm of Jay Niner, where everything be possible, and nothing ever happens. If, perchance, thou wisheth to tarry, then find thou a page from the Grimoire and read. For we are here in eternity, and we are in medias res.



Problems Fucking My Brains. Part 1
The Problem with the internet- Yessir, there's no doubting that I'm causing no amount of damage to the mindfuckers at cyberroam or whatever they prefer to call themselves, but wtf is with them closing blogspot to me? I cannae open my blogs, no sir, everytime I do, I get a 404 not found error. Fuck me, but last I checked I didst have a blog, milord, even two perchance. Why? I like to blog. Why me? I may fuck the internet bad but I still paid three lakhs for it, and it can't open a shitfucked BLOG? Wordpress is still functioning, although for some reason I can't comment as of yesterday.
Wikileaks, the website I wanted to check. "Labelled as Advertisements".
 You get my point?

The Problem with class- Whasamatter with class? We are back to the Fourth standard, ladies and gents, and you cannae persecute me for saying so. Why else would a whole class- and I mean whole as a whole, even those who sleep in the back rows- decide to argue with the teacher for half-an-hour over... NAMES?
And shit like this is the reason for my atheism; gods above, you know I don't believe in you- 'cause if you were there, and if you were active like any amount of seeders on torrent, then you'd have done something about this mindfucking everyday.

The Problem with Religion- I have no shit for those who want to follow their religions. They can go ahead and do what they like. The fact being that they prefer to shift their faith from themselves to their gods is what I don't like. I don't know why; my parents believe in god. I just don't. I believe that if you have faith in yourself, you can get through mountains and molehills and live to fuck at the end of it. 
But then comes along the concept of a higher power. Now, if god made the heavens and the earth, and if he hates pagans, if he hates us polluting nature, if he hates non-believers, if he despises atheists, then please tell me wtf am I doing here. I am an effective pagan, a non-believer, and I swear to hell on earth that I smoke enough to pollute.
One example of this would be True Blood, a vampire series that used to come on HBO late nights. This is another problem I'll be addressing later, how the concept of a vampire shifted in regards to PR and Brand positioning. Stuff like this is worth doing Ph.D.s over, and no one even looks twice at it.
True Blood has a brilliant opening sequence. And one scene cometh where a billboard proclaims, "God Hates Fangs." And later on, when the protagonists drive past it, the vampire says: 'If he hates fangs so much, why am I here to argue with you?'

The Problem with mindfucking- It's become all too common as more and more people go through mid-life crises in their teenage-semi-adulthood. It's a pity, but young and stupid as I am, I still find myself jaded with so many aspects of what so many would consider a wonderful life. How wonderful? I drive past a wilderness everyday to get to college, and I drive past X amount of beggars, vendors, street urchins and the list could go on further but I haven't the time. 
To them, my life is ideal. To me, it's daftishly mindfucking.
Perspectives define life. Sadly they also destroy it.
I once visited a village near Otopalam (Kerala, where my da's from) and I wandered into the abode of one of those priests you find who cons you out of ten rupees to read your palm. He conned me out of five, and I still think I came off pretty badly, considering his advice- 'You'll die young.' When I asked him how young, he held out his hand for another five rupees. I told him I didn't need to know, and true to form, like an autovalla running after you to agree with your fare, he came along, and told me, in four more years. 
Unfortunately, that was five years ago. Now you see why I keep feeling I wasted my life? Maybe if I'd come to cherish it more, I'd have lost it.
The sad part is that when you try to get what you want, you get the exact opposite. Those four years saw a lot of heartbreaks, mindfucks, exams and general chutiyaapa. I indulged myself too much because I had an idea that I was going to die- why not make the most of it?
Instead life took a cruel turn, and I'm still convinced as to why I didn't die.
Some time back my sister got into an accident and broke her leg. The guy she rammed was in pretty bad shape that day and stayed in the hospital for a longer time. From all the details I got out of the onlookers, that accident had been inevitable.
A parade of sorts on a blind turn is asking for an accident.
And what I remember is I refused to drive her that day and stayed home to watch some films. If I wasn't so self-indulgent, I'd have fucking lost my life, speed demon that I like to be. So there's the conclusion:
Never wish for something so much. You'll end up getting the exact opposite.
And there I'll end my blog.

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