The Sanctum

Welcome, traveller. This be the realm of Jay Niner, where everything be possible, and nothing ever happens. If, perchance, thou wisheth to tarry, then find thou a page from the Grimoire and read. For we are here in eternity, and we are in medias res.

19.10.10

Burning

18.10.10, 2300 hours
The room was rife with utter chaos. Clothes lay on the table, the laptop sprawled over the pillow, the hard drive lost in the confines of the blanket, the beer precariously balanced on the windowsill, the floor full of paper I'd spread out of a desire to read up on world events, and the room smelt rather badly; of cigarettes and a few other things I'd rather not mention. Suffice to say the cigarettes smelt better.
Out of the folds of my safe, which contained all my documents, I found my diary. I had this habit of maintaining one; one of those delegated missions so that my flame would have some reading matter of a deeply personal nature. On that note I had, along with her, dumped the diary a year back. It was still there, though; waiting for me to pick it up and read. So I gave in to my baser natures and opened the damned book.
Yes, there was no surprise that I had not attended the first sem. A mild sort of elation as my book described my efforts to keep a streak of attendance on the second. Then some more disappointment that stemmed from that feeling of boredom. I hadn't achieved much in that year during which I maintained a diary. It resembled a ledger from hell, describing a downward spiral into something deeper than stupidity; what that is I did not figure out.
19.10.10, 0900 hours
And still the after-effects rolled in, the memories of exploits small and large and the feeling of smallness that pervaded my psyche. I had a feeling of comparing myself to the world, my life to the universe, and as everyone knows, that never amounted to much.
Strangely, I did feel good this morning, though... perhaps the cigar I lit from the bonfire of my diary has its after-effects too.
The moral of this story? Emotional baggage has an expiry date.

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