The Sanctum

Welcome, traveller. This be the realm of Jay Niner, where everything be possible, and nothing ever happens. If, perchance, thou wisheth to tarry, then find thou a page from the Grimoire and read. For we are here in eternity, and we are in medias res.


The Greengrocer's Disease and other Hinglish Traits

What is it?
The Greengrocer's disease, bless his soul, is awfully contagious and so demeaning and restricting that it can easily become a full-scale epidemic.
Simply put, it's when a greengrocer's put's up offer's for sale's regarding product's with discount's that will blow your mind's away. You can find tomatoe's, potatoe's, onion's, cauliflower's, and at excellent price's.

Now that's an excellent example of how contagious it is. In second's we start imitating that same kind of literary murder that is all so prevalent these days.

I remember a time of Ganesh Chaturthi, where we (still kids) were asked by our elders to write out a list of words with the hindi suffix "-tar" such as in "Tamatar".
So how did it go? One list I still remember today and shudder at the thought of it. It went, and I quote-
1. Minis-tar
2. Prime Minis-tar
And so on. You get the idea. Hinglish at its grassroots.
Then of course someone else got wind of it and then came stuff that boiled down to "Gajar". 
The bottom line? Listen to Vani Ma'am and stay away from this sort of shit.

Then again, for all of you not privileged to meet the formidable grammatician (to coin the word) would wonder where I was getting off. I'd say I was getting off a kilometer before that particular greengrocer's, and thus take my entry from the backside only.


Down and dirty

The fact of the matter is not the internship that causeth my lapse in judgement.. I mean in blogging, but a pure laziness of the heart that I can only attribute to having nothing to do, being vella as so many put it. Fine. Let me remedy that.
I do keep a blog not only to ease my artistic conscience but also to be criticized. Hey, everyone's gotta be hated once in a while or life's nuts. Perfection is nuts.
What drives me to that conclusion is a movie I went off to see yesterday night. I should think this is a testament to the determination we movie buffs have- at nine we were already at the theatre, DK and me, waiting with our mitts on and sweaters zipped up. The inevitable coffee followed, which was in turn followed by a lot of BC. And so the hours passed and we stumbled into the theatre, gazing once more at the poster- "Ek Mayajaal."
Lots of people I know don't like to see english movies in hindi. They've never gone to a small-town theatre, I'm sure. I prefer english to hindi myself, but sometimes we see some movies in hindi just for the fun of it- The A-team, or even Dwayne J.'s Faster (Main Intekaam Lunga. Charming.) Clash of the Titans I remember particularly- the last scene when Liam Neeson grants Io to Perseus as a lifelong companion, the dialogue goes-
"Tum Zeus ke bete ho. Tum akele nahi rahoge!" And the BC adds to that- "Ladki lo!" Fun. Watching the same thing back in english wasn't half as much of a laugh- in fact it was deadly serious.

But back to "Mayajaal". It was, in fact, Tron Legacy. After Inception, it is the best movie I've seen this year. If Avatar redifined 3-D, Tron redifined animation, and as such, MCD kardi. Tron is by far one of the best Disney movies I've seen, period. There's enough of everything in it- adrenaline, biking, chases, animation, an excellent plot, Jeff Bridges, Tron himself.
And now we come back to perfection. Tron's supposedly dead and Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) faces his clone-gone-psychopathic-dictator Clu in the newest rendition of the Quest World (Who can forget Johnny Quest?) The whole meshugaas is because of Clu's perception of a perfect society- which is not Flynn's. He asks, what is Perfection? No one knows- and especially not you, you SOB, when I made you I was looking for a mirror, not a pain in the ass.
Point taken, Clu says, and proceeds to thrash Flynn but good.

Yeas, I can understand that sentiment. God is perfect. Why? The Church decides to crucify if not the scientist himself but his arguments at this point. What is perfect, exactly?

Sometime back when I was still interested in greek myth, someone very close to me told me I was like Janus. Janus is the two-faced god of choices- he never gives a straight answer, always providing a choice with a dripping, greasy smile that makes you want to whup his ass bad. I'm going to give you a question, not a choice.
The hell is perfection? A state of being or being itself?
In both arguements, God wins out.
If God didn't exist, then it would be necessary to invent him. Humanity has been leaning on that crutch of faith for so long, that we've forgotten what we can do with our bare hands. Such as drive fifteen kilometres back home in the biting cold and tug an empty petrol tank for the next three. Fun times.
My point is, perfection lies in doing things yourself. until you get things done to your liking, you're not going to agree if someone else does it for you, assignments apart. But what is that perfection, precisely?
One of my wishes is to be born in the 15th century and become a smith. Out of all of the occupations available, this is one of the few that people can attain near-perfection in. Not to mention a good way to get a six-pack.. but that's a different matter.
Doing stuff yourself is good. Doing it until you're mindfucked and then at the heights of your frustration, things click together like a set of cogs, you realize- you've done it better than you'd thought.
So? Get down and dirty. You will get results.